When Good Droids Get Mad, Go Bad, and Get Even

Oh, noes!

You know how back when Scott McClellan was the White House press secretary, you’d sometimes get the feeling that the puppet-masters behind the scenes only hired the McClellatron 3000 because he bore a superficial physical resemblance to much more fluid and expansive liar, Ari Fleischer, but lacked the chops to actually do the job? In fact, often it seemed that the little Scottie M got thrust out there with completely inadequate preparation and was forced to just spit out syllables until his servo-unit overheated and steam came out of his ears as he earnestly prayed for the clock to run out.

It was difficult during the McClellan era to imagine how anyone could do a worse job as Press Secretary. Waxy, weaselly Tony Snow, a natural at the two-bit carny hustle, seemed to flourish there before the cameras, lying as smoothly and effortlessly as dolphins swim. Then he figured out that the Bush administration was paying him in Moon-Pies and RC Colas and fucked right off, which ushered in the era of bubbleheaded bobblehead Dana Peroxide, who cheerfully brags on Fox News about her complete lack of historical knowledge and prompts even breathtakingly shallow gits like Chris Matthews to call her a “blank slate”.

Well, that feeling that McClellan was regularly getting hung out to dry by his BushCo masters was not, it appears, entirely inaccurate. Mr. McClellan has a book coming out, and it’s apparently not very complimentary of President Oopsie McSlippy Mistakeowitz and his droogs.

The (Ugh!) Politico:

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan writes in a surprisingly scathing memoir to be published next week that President Bush “veered terribly off course,” was not “open and forthright on Iraq,” and took a “permanent campaign approach” to governing at the expense of candor and competence.

Among the most explosive revelations in the 341-page book, titled “What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception” (Public Affairs, $27.95):

• McClellan charges that Bush relied on “propaganda” to sell the war.

• He says the White House press corps was too easy on the administration during the run-up to the war.

That’s pretty serious, considering he was one of the people the press corps was supposed to be grilling about this stuff. Although, to be fair, he didn’t get plopped behind that famous podium until July of 2003, which was weeks and weeks after “Mission Accomplished”.

• He admits that some of his own assertions from the briefing room podium turned out to be “badly misguided.”

• The longtime Bush loyalist also suggests that two top aides held a secret West Wing meeting to get their story straight about the CIA leak case at a time when federal prosecutors were after them — and McClellan was continuing to defend them despite mounting evidence they had not given him all the facts.

• McClellan asserts that the aides — Karl Rove, the president’s senior adviser, and I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the vice president’s chief of staff — “had at best misled” him about their role in the disclosure of former CIA operative Valerie Plame’s identity.

Goddamn, can we PLEASE just send Karl Rove to Gitmo until we can arrange a suitable trial for him? You know, like, whenever we get around to it? After a couple of years of “softening up” by the crack interrogation teams they’ve got down there, forced tube-feedings, and waterboarding, why, I bet Karl might be ready to show us where the rest of BushCo’s bodies are buried.

And frankly, I would be willing to let Unca Karl go gently into that good night if he’d give us what we need to jail George W. Bush for the rest of his pathetic life. Wouldn’t you? Just send him off to luxuriate on the beaches of some Animal Disease Research Island while we march Dubya, Darth Cheney, Doug “Stupidest Fucking Guy in the Universe” Feith and the other Iraq War architects into the Hague for trial.

McClellan was one of the president’s earliest and most loyal political aides, and most of his friends had expected him to take a few swipes at his former colleague in order to sell books but also to paint a largely affectionate portrait.

Instead, McClellan’s tone is often harsh. He writes, for example, that after Hurricane Katrina, the White House “spent most of the first week in a state of denial,” and he blames Rove for suggesting the photo of the president comfortably observing the disaster during an Air Force One flyover. McClellan says he and counselor to the president Dan Bartlett had opposed the idea and thought it had been scrapped.

But he writes that he later was told that “Karl was convinced we needed to do it — and the president agreed.”

“One of the worst disasters in our nation’s history became one of the biggest disasters in Bush’s presidency. Katrina and the botched federal response to it would largely come to define Bush’s second term,” he writes. “And the perception of this catastrophe was made worse by previous decisions President Bush had made, including, first and foremost, the failure to be open and forthright on Iraq and rushing to war with inadequate planning and preparation for its aftermath.”

I might actually have to read this one.

  1. 129 Responses to “When Good Droids Get Mad, Go Bad, and Get Even”

  2. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:06 pm |

    Sorry, Scottie, no redemption here. It is far too little, far to late. Don’t you love it, T, when it it really sinks in for the Legions of the Damned that they really did sell their souls to the devil and what that is going to cost them?

  3. By TRex on May 27, 2008 11:10 pm |

    Seriously, Dr. D. Paging Matthew Dowd, you’re needed in the 9th circle of hell. Paging Matthew Dowd…

  4. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:14 pm |

    Poor Scottie. It must really suck to finally figure out that you’ve been played like a cheap ukelele. Now that any professional credibility he might have had is gone, and he is left looking like a pathetic tool who couldn’t figure out what was going on right under his nose, still he admires the shrub. What a putz.

  5. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:15 pm |

    TRex said

    Seriously, Dr. D. Paging Matthew Dowd, you’re needed in the 9th circle of hell. Paging Matthew Dowd…

    They keep squealing, “I didn’t really sign the pact. I had my fingers crossed. I didn’t know what I was signing on for. etc. etc.” If it were not so pathetic and if not for the carnage they have wrecked upon the country, it might almost be pitiful. As is, I just say, suck it up douchebag. You had your chance when it really counted and blew.

  6. By Nevorick on May 27, 2008 11:15 pm |

    Yeh, he still blames everybody but Bush. Come on! I know Cheney, Rove, and the rest of these lying scum are guilty of just about everything imaginable, but Scotty your hero is just as guilty as the rest of his posse.

    Your idol is the worst president ever!

  7. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:16 pm |

    Hey T. Great post.

    Here’s the song “Scotty The Duck” which you might have heard.
    http://12thharmonic.net/2005/07/18/new-music-scotty-the-duck/

  8. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:16 pm |

    madmommy said

    Poor Scottie. It must really suck to finally figure out that you’ve been played like a cheap ukelele. Now that any professional credibility he might have had is gone, and he is left looking like a pathetic tool who couldn’t figure out what was going on right under his nose, still he admires the shrub. What a putz.

    You really are far too kind to him. None of them were any where that innocent, though they may have turned a blind eye maintained some degree of willful ignorance.

  9. By Glen Tomkins on May 27, 2008 11:18 pm |

    No death penalty

    The International Tribunal at the Hague can’t impose the death penalty, and is therefore clearly not a suitable venue to try BushCo.

    No, I do not believe in the death penalty when it is imposed at the end of a legal process in which the defendents are woefully overmatched by the prosecution’s legal resources — as is the case in almost all death penalty cases in this country. But I’m sure that the BushCo will receive “dream team” defense sufficient to allay my concerns in the case of any death sentence they might receive. And then, after their bend-over-backwards fair trial, they can be duly hanged by the neck until dead.

  10. By e on May 27, 2008 11:20 pm |

    Oh, poor old Scottie. I always did feel sorry for him, he always looked soooo unhappy behind that podium…..like, he either REALLY hated his job, or he had a chronic case of constipation and the Metamucil was just kicking in.

  11. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:20 pm |

    Glen Tomkins said

    No death penalty

    The International Tribunal at the Hague can’t impose the death penalty, and is therefore clearly not a suitable to try BushCo.

    No, I do not believe in the death penalty when it is imposed at the end of a legal process in which the defendents are woefully overmatched by the prosecution’s legal resources — as is the case in almost all death penalty cases in this country. But I’m sure that the BushCo will receive “dream team” defense sufficient to allay my concerns in the case of any death sentence they might receive. And then, after their bend-over-backwards fair trial, they can be duly hanged by the neck until dead.

    Unfortunately, I do not believe in the death penalty even then. It is, however, nice to fantasize about drawing and quartering them in the public square, preferably during the Republican National Convention.

  12. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:23 pm |

    e said

    Oh, poor old Scottie. I always did feel sorry for him, he always looked soooo unhappy behind that podium…..like, he either REALLY hated his job, or he had a chronic case of constipation and the Metamucil was just kicking in.

    As I said above, he had to know he was spewing bullshit. He may not have known the truth, he was clearly not part of the inner circle and not really privy to the inside info, but he really is not stupid enough to have believed what he was saying.

  13. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:23 pm |

    DrDick said

    madmommy said

    Poor Scottie. It must really suck to finally figure out that you’ve been played like a cheap ukelele. Now that any professional credibility he might have had is gone, and he is left looking like a pathetic tool who couldn’t figure out what was going on right under his nose, still he admires the shrub. What a putz.

    You really are far too kind to him. None of them were any where that innocent, though they may have turned a blind eye maintained some degree of willful ignorance.

    Oh, I’m sure that there was more than a little bit of willful ignorance on Scott’s part. Really, we’re talking about a handfull of people who were “in the loop”, and even if McClellan wasn’t at every meeting, he had to have known, to some degree, what was going on.

    For what it’s worth, it’s damned difficult typing while a kitten is walking back and forth across the keyboard. Please forgive the typos!

  14. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:25 pm |

    It is Malcolm’s keyboard Madmom! You’re lucky he lets you use it at all.

  15. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:27 pm |

    DrDick said

    For what it’s worth, it’s damned difficult typing while a kitten is walking back and forth across the keyboard. Please forgive the typos!

    I know the feeling. My young cat is fond of pacing around on the keyboard and ducking behind the monitor so she can pounce my fingers from underneath it.

  16. By TRex on May 27, 2008 11:27 pm |

    I have to say that I am against the death penalty. I think it’s infinitely preferable to let the convicted sit and sit and sit and sit and wait for God to decide their true sentence. Death is too merciful for people like George W. Bush. Before he goes to his Maker, I want GWB to spend a decade or two going absolutely out of his mind is a cramped, damp, dark little cell.

    Killing the bastard would only send his soul back into the endless cycle of death and rebirth, and even though he might be unlucky enough to come back as a bug in my kitchen, I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.

  17. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:28 pm |

    Betsy said

    It is Malcolm’s keyboard Madmom! You’re lucky he lets you use it at all.

    No kidding! He thinks the cursor on the monitor is his personal plaything. Gets his wee nose right up against it as it moves along. I had to get some zip ties to clean up the wires under my desk, I was sure he was going to shock his furry butt across the room after chewing a cord.

  18. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:29 pm |

    TRex said

    I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.

    I don’t actually think it is God who will be doing the calling here.

  19. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:31 pm |

    TRex. Stupid people don’t go crazy just sitting around doing nothing.

  20. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:32 pm |

    This is a big dilema for me. I do not believe in some all-knowing supreme being, but some part of me really wants there to be a reckoning for the utterly vile members of the human race walking the earth. A part of me really wants a vengeful God passing judgement upon the deserving upon their exit from this life.

    Oh, and I want front row tickets to see it.

  21. By Nevorick on May 27, 2008 11:33 pm |

    Dr Dick Said: “I don’t actually think it is God who will be doing the calling here.”

    Yes, I believe Satan is going to be opening the Bush Library in a new wing just so he can make room for the sinners of the Bush -Cheney Maladministration.

  22. By TRex on May 27, 2008 11:36 pm |

    Actually, I would kind of like to see Bush reincarnated as a bug in my kitchen. JC and Max could take turns swatting him around until one of them bites off his legs and slowly torments him to death.

    Ahhhhhh. Karma…is served.

  23. By EvilDrPuma on May 27, 2008 11:37 pm |

    Actually, I think karmic justice would be for Bush to be reincarnated as an Iraqi.

  24. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:38 pm |

    TRex said

    Actually, I would kind of like to see Bush reincarnated as a bug in my kitchen. JC and Max could take turns swatting him around until one of them bites off his legs and slowly torments him to death.

    Ahhhhhh. Karma…is served.

    You know, it is times like this when I almost wish I actually believed in this stuff. It would be so nice to think that somebody or something would guarantee that monsters like this actually get what they deserve. Like madmommy, I want front row center seats.

  25. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:38 pm |

    EvilDrPuma said

    Actually, I think karmic justice would be for Bush to be reincarnated as an Iraqi.

    Or better yet, an Iraqi rat.

  26. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:39 pm |

    DrDick said

    TRex said

    I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.

    I don’t actually think it is God who will be doing the calling here.

    Any good Baptist will tell you that God will judge everyone and then send those who don’t pass muster to The Bad Place. Satan only gets to rule over Hell, he doesn’t get to choose who goes there. Thems the breaks for a fallen angel, ya know.

  27. By Laura on May 27, 2008 11:39 pm |

    Betsy said

    TRex. Stupid people don’t go crazy just sitting around doing nothing.

    Rich entitled sociopaths accustomed to barking orders and having their whims instanter gratified will have SOME kind of reaction to life in a small space without servants or power.

    While others sit in their wheelchairs, or beside beds with comatose bodies, or visit graves….I rather fancy a computer screen offering him an ever-changing set of images of the suffering he’s responsible for.

  28. By e on May 27, 2008 11:40 pm |

    “. . . even though he might be unlucky enough to come back as a bug in my kitchen, I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.”

    ‘Sides, a rolled-up newspaper is too good for him.

  29. By DrDick on May 27, 2008 11:41 pm |

    Laura said

    I rather fancy a computer screen offering him an ever-changing set of images of the suffering he’s responsible for.

    It would just bore him. Why should he trouble his beautiful mind with things like that?

  30. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:42 pm |

    Laura said

    Betsy said

    TRex. Stupid people don’t go crazy just sitting around doing nothing.

    Rich entitled sociopaths accustomed to barking orders and having their whims instanter gratified will have SOME kind of reaction to life in a small space without servants or power.

    While others sit in their wheelchairs, or beside beds with comatose bodies, or visit graves….I rather fancy a computer screen offering him an ever-changing set of images of the suffering he’s responsible for.

    those images would make him smile

  31. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:42 pm |

    e said

    “. . . even though he might be unlucky enough to come back as a bug in my kitchen, I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.”

    ‘Sides, a rolled-up newspaper is too good for him.

    I had to go kill a spider in the bathroom this afternoon. It was a tiny thing, but the kids were freaking out. I suggested now that we have a cat it would be good for him to earn his kibble, so to speak, by killing the bug. The big kid just looked at me and said “he’ll just play with it, get a shoe and whack it!” So I did.

  32. By EvilDrPuma on May 27, 2008 11:42 pm |

    DrDick said

    It would just bore him. Why should he trouble his beautiful mind with things like that?

    Certain scenes from “A Clockwork Orange” spring to mind.

  33. By al the spook on May 27, 2008 11:45 pm |

    Let me offer a much more likely version of hell, based on my dad’s primitive christianity theology studies: hell is being in heaven BUT everyone knows what you did wrong, everyone pities you, and NO ONE will associate with you. And you can’t hide from your own conscience of what you did and why. All you can do is wait until the pain gets so bad that you volunteer to reincarnate again and try to get it right the next time. Believe it or not, this is the most accurate understanding we can manage of the various statements by moses, the prophets, jesus and the apostles on the subject. all the “heaven and hell” stuff of the xtianists doesn’t come from Teh Bible, it comes from the Nicene Council’s shoehorning various mythologies of the pagans and paganized christian sects into a belief structure the emperors of failing rome could use to prop up their collapsing house of cards.

  34. By Laura on May 27, 2008 11:45 pm |

    madmommy said

    e said

    “. . . even though he might be unlucky enough to come back as a bug in my kitchen, I still want the bastard where we can see him until God calls him Home.”

    ‘Sides, a rolled-up newspaper is too good for him.

    I had to go kill a spider in the bathroom this afternoon. It was a tiny thing, but the kids were freaking out. I suggested now that we have a cat it would be good for him to earn his kibble, so to speak, by killing the bug. The big kid just looked at me and said “he’ll just play with it, get a shoe and whack it!” So I did.

    Time to roll out Charlotte’s Web for Bedtime story! (I admit it, I catch spiders and put them outside. )

  35. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:48 pm |

    we scoop up spiders and put them out in the garden. other bugs get smacked.

  36. By Laura on May 27, 2008 11:48 pm |

    al the spook said

    Let me offer a much more likely version of hell, based on my dad’s primitive christianity theology studies: hell is being in heaven BUT everyone knows what you did wrong, everyone pities you, and NO ONE will associate with you. And you can’t hide from your own conscience of what you did and why. All you can do is wait until the pain gets so bad that you volunteer to reincarnate again and try to get it right the next time. Believe it or not, this is the most accurate understanding we can manage of the various statements by moses, the prophets, jesus and the apostles on the subject. all the “heaven and hell” stuff of the xtianists doesn’t come from Teh Bible, it comes from the Nicene Council’s shoehorning various mythologies of the pagans and paganized christian sects into a belief structure the emperors of failing rome could use to prop up their collapsing house of cards.

    Nice. It reminds me of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Dead folks who didn’t do right when they lived, now unable to do good deeds, and wracked with remorse. Speaking as one who works with sociopaths and other baddies, I do believe people can change. But certain people won’t be changing in this life time. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to think about things, though.

  37. By madmommy on May 27, 2008 11:49 pm |

    Laura-they have the movie (cartoon, not the new one) and watch it all the time. There’s no connect whatsoever with Charlotte and an actual creepy crawly spider in the bathroom. I haven’t gotten the book cause I thought it was a bit girly. The big kid has a very finely tuned radar for girly and will not have it.

  38. By Betsy on May 27, 2008 11:50 pm |

    Read girly anyway! Kids need to learn that boys are not the protagonists all the time, and should not be the protagonists in LIFE all the time.

  39. By Laura on May 27, 2008 11:52 pm |

    Do they find the movie “girly” ?

  40. By al the spook on May 27, 2008 11:55 pm |

    Laura said

    al the spook said

    Let me offer a much more likely version of hell, [snip]

    Nice. It reminds me of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Dead folks who didn’t do right when they lived, now unable to do good deeds, and wracked with remorse. Speaking as one who works with sociopaths and other baddies, I do believe people can change. But certain people won’t be changing in this life time. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to think about things, though.

    I also suspect an evolutionary angle. if consciousness is indeed a true phenomenon (as the Bell effect in QM indicates), then laws of conservation of matter and energy might guarantee that a sufficiently evolved mind would continue between evolutionary incarnations, and if it screwed up, would have some sort of feedback process to encourage it to a more successful evolutionary state. Without any science to hang this on, tho, it’s just speculation at the moment.

  41. By TRex on May 27, 2008 11:58 pm |

    That’s the problem with all afterlife theory, Al. Nobody ever comes back to tell us about it.

  42. By DrDick on May 28, 2008 12:00 am |

    TRex said

    That’s the problem with all afterlife theory, Al. Nobody ever comes back to tell us about it.

    As Ambrose Bierce observed in one of my favorite books, “Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. “

  43. By madmommy on May 28, 2008 12:01 am |

    Laura said

    Do they find the movie “girly” ?

    No, and it’s probably my perceptions as much as anything. I loved that book and read it repeatedly.

    You’re probably right Betsy, but even though the big kid have very definite ideas about what is girly and what is not, he’s also very empathetic, except when it comes to his little brother.

    Off to bed, good night all!

  44. By DrDick on May 28, 2008 12:02 am |

    Night MM.

  45. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:03 am |

    Sleep well MM

  46. By TRex on May 28, 2008 12:05 am |

    Alright, gang. Headed to the grocery store and then home. Today I scraped up all the change around the house to take to CoinStar to see if I can get through the end of the week and payday.

    See you kids in a bit.

  47. By Laura on May 28, 2008 12:05 am |

    I rather like Pascal: “The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know.” Or Jung, “I don’t need to believe. I know.”

    (I don’t know and don’t worry about believing. Have decided to live in hope, as doing so makes me more effective than living without it….)

  48. By al the spook on May 28, 2008 12:05 am |

    TRex said

    That’s the problem with all afterlife theory, Al. Nobody ever comes back to tell us about it.

    yeah. makes doing field work really really hard. :)

  49. By al the spook on May 28, 2008 12:06 am |

    night mm.

  50. By Laura on May 28, 2008 12:08 am |

    Night, mm. I’d read the book, just ‘cuz you loved it and you like sharing.

    (And while looking for other winners–when they’re a little older, don’t miss Sterling North’s Rascal–forget Disney, the book’s such a delight!)

  51. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:12 am |

    giant lego ball rolls down a hill:

    I am so easily amused!

  52. By newdealfarmgrrrlll on May 28, 2008 12:15 am |

    al the spook said

    makes doing field work really really hard

    field work … reminds me of an elderly couple near the newdealfarm who were very interested in the metaphysical stuff. They agreed whoever died first would come back and speak thru a Spiritualist minister they knew. The hubby died first and wifey went to the minister, who contacted the dear departed. The wife asked what heaven was like, the old farmer replied, “lots of beautiful, s*xy young things with big brown eyes surrounding me!” The wife was scandalized and said, “That doesn’t sound like heaven!” The farmer replied, “Who said anything about heaven? I’m a bull in Montana!”

  53. By Laura on May 28, 2008 12:15 am |

    giant lego ball rolls down a hill:

    Another typical day in San Francisco!

    (And I so admire your ability to embed pics and things. Are you going to share this skill?)

  54. By newdealfarmgrrrlll on May 28, 2008 12:16 am |

    oops, betsy, i used a bad word and my comment is stuck in moderation …

  55. By DrDick on May 28, 2008 12:17 am |

    newdealfarmgrrrlll said

    oops, betsy, i used a bad word and my comment is stuck in moderation …

    No foulmouthed femblogging around here, if you please!

  56. By newdealfarmgrrrlll on May 28, 2008 12:20 am |

    DrDick said

    No foulmouthed femblogging around here, if you please!

    %^#$!!! sorry, i forgot!:-)

  57. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:21 am |

    fixed ndfg.

    laura, you copy something as though you’re going to post it on your own blog. then click the html button and copy the code.

  58. By Gnome de Plume on May 28, 2008 12:22 am |

    While we are thinking of ways to punish those who truly deserve it, you could wish the evil ones to come back as Japanese Beetles to be captured by children who are paid by their mother to pick the beetles off her roses. Said children then devise all sorts of ingenious ways to destroy the evil beetles - from pulling their heads off and letting their bodies starve to death, to putting them in a box and seeing how long it takes for a magnifying glass in the sun to . . . oh never mind. (I just read about kids like this, never seen it. Really.)

  59. By DrDick on May 28, 2008 12:24 am |

    Gnome de Plume said

    While we are thinking of ways to punish those who truly deserve it, you could wish the evil ones to come back as Japanese Beetles to be captured by children who are paid by their mother to pick the beetles off her roses. Said children then devise all sorts of ingenious ways to destroy the evil beetles - from pulling their heads off and letting their bodies starve to death, to putting them in a box and seeing how long it takes for a magnifying glass in the sun to . . . oh never mind. (I just read about kids like this, never seen it. Really.)

    Uh-huh. Yep. Never knew any kids like that. Can’t even imagine any like that. Nope. Nothing to see here. Just move along, please.

  60. By DrDick on May 28, 2008 12:26 am |

    Think I will head off to bed. Take care and enjoy the snark.

  61. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:26 am |

    My kid was scared of bugs for a LONG time.

  62. By newdealfarmgrrrlll on May 28, 2008 12:27 am |

    thanks, betsy!

    gnome, we didn’t do that to beetles when i was a wee farmgrrrlll, just drop ‘em in soapy water as you inspect plants. Woodticks, however, it seemed to help overcome our screaming heebie-jeebies re blood-sucking critters to find inventive ways to do them in. The most expeditious was to make sure they lost not only all interest in life, but a dimension as well … thanks to carrying a pliers in pocket during tick season. Flatten those little suckers!

    g’night, drD! bug-free dreams *g*

  63. By al the spook on May 28, 2008 12:28 am |

    my dad’s favorite preacher story:

    Three devout priests all died of old age and went to heaven. They were met at The Pearly Gates by St. Peter who apologized and said “We just had an earthquake in China and Heaven is temporarily full. We need to send you back to earth for six months while we build the new annex. Each of you led good lives so you get to choose how you spend the six months.”

    The first priest said “I want to be a medical researcher and find a cure for a terrible disease!” St. Peter nodded, waved his quill, and it was done.

    The next priest said “I want to be a nun ministering to the sick and poor of the worst slum in the world.” St. Peter consulted his books, waved his quill, and it was done.

    The third priest said “I confess that I was poorly suited for a life of celibacy. I want to spend my six months back on earth as a STUD!” St. Peter thought about it, nodded, waved his quill and it was done.

    Six months later two of the three priests appeared again at the Pearly Gates and shared their experiences. “I found a cure for ebola!” enthused the first one. “I saved five thousand children from starvation!” burbled the second. They look around for the third priest but didn’t see him.

    They went up to St. Peter, who was worriedly looking into his crystal and squinting. “I know, I know,” fussed the eternal saint, “He’s on a snow tire somewhere in Minnesota and I can’t find him!”

  64. By Gnome de Plume on May 28, 2008 12:30 am |

    Betsy said

    My kid was scared of bugs for a LONG time.

    That’s what happens when you are born in NYC!

  65. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:32 am |

    Gnome de Plume said

    Betsy said

    My kid was scared of bugs for a LONG time.

    That’s what happens when you are born in NYC!

    yep

  66. By Gnome de Plume on May 28, 2008 12:32 am |

    My specialty as a step-grandmother is to teach the young’uns the wonder of the world of bugs, snakes, lizards, rocks, etc. My stepdaugther has repeatedly thanked me for imparting that gift to her daughter and making her fearless with respect to critters, since she was not able to do that.

  67. By Gnome de Plume on May 28, 2008 12:36 am |

    I am getting a wee bit sleepy here myself. I had to get up earlier than planned because I had to save a very nice sized garden snake that Theodore brought in to play with. For some reason Mr. Gnome doesn’t like things like that in his house. (Now you see why his daughter is squeamish.)

  68. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:37 am |

    Sleep well Gnome.

  69. By Laura on May 28, 2008 12:40 am |

    One of my favorite Girl Scout leader moments was finding a scorpion on my sleeping bag. I scooped it up in a box and hollered: any girl who wants to see a scorpion line up here! 20 out of 21 girls (my unit at camp) raced over for a look-see. The 21st? Mine own, of course. She still gets the willies over all insect life. But she’s learned to respond calmly to other situations, so I have hope.

    In the long run, it may not be tolerance for insects that’s the important lesson (although there is one in there), but learning to face situations with curiosity rather than fear…..We’ll all have need of that skill….sad to say.

  70. By newdealfarmgrrrlll on May 28, 2008 12:40 am |

    bravo, gnome! hope the snake didn’t get too mauled, i know all the newdealpetttsss would luurrrrvvvvv a plaything like that.

  71. By al the spook on May 28, 2008 12:41 am |

    night gnome.

  72. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:43 am |

    Great story Laura.

    When I taught 1st grade we had a class pet —- Cornelia the Corn Snake, and all had a chance to pet and play with her.

  73. By Gnome de Plume on May 28, 2008 12:45 am |

    newdealfarmgrrrlll said

    bravo, gnome! hope the snake didn’t get too mauled, i know all the newdealpetttsss would luurrrrvvvvv a plaything like that.

    The snake looked to be OK - no little fang marks anywhere. I put him in my flower bed and s/he slithered away under leaves. It was quite a bit bigger than most of the snakes that get brought in for sport.

  74. By Betsy on May 28, 2008 12:58 am |

    good night all.

  75. By al the spook on May 28, 2008 1:13 am |

    night betsy from spook and ndfg.

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    Fresh thread:

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