Shite and Onions!
“If you must write prose and poems, the words you use should be your own. Do not plagiarize or take on loan…” (The Smiths, “Cemetery Gates”)
Remember Ben “Cut’n'Paste” Domenech, the chinless home-schooled plagiarist the WaPo hired off RedState to “balance” Dan Froomkin’s supposed “liberal bias”? Let me refresh your memory via the Hon. Joe Conanson, Esq:
Almost immediately the liberal blogosphere exploded with outrage over Domenech’s hiring by the Post. But by Thursday bloggers had more than ideological reasons to oppose the Post’s move, as Atrios, Daily Kos and other sites uncovered brazen examples of plagiarism by Domenech when he was writing for a student weekly at the College of William and Mary. Ironically, the young right-winger was apparently fond of Salon’s film criticism, at least, because he plagiarized film critic Stephanie Zacharek, and Mary Elizabeth Williams as well.
How long did Simple Ben even last at that job before they busted him for helping himself to other people’s work? A week? Even that?
Well, Dr. Thers has unearthed a recent writing sample from the little git and it’s pretty clear why he had to steal from actual writers to get his work into print at all. This is Stealy McCopycat’s attempt at a woad-smudged Braveheart speech.
Domenech:
The Reagan coalition survived Read my lips. It survived Bob Dole’s peanut butter. It survived compassionate conservatism and its kid stepbrother national greatness. And it will survive John McCain and everything he will do as our nominee and as president. In fact—in a twisted version of the ancient Vulcan proverb “Only Nixon could go to China”—only McCain can save it.
They will say the coalition is dead—but we will know better. We know it only sleeps. We will cast our votes knowing that the day will come, four years from now, when a new leader, one who knows what the shining city truly means, stands in front of the fresh-dug tomb, and calls into the blackness, as if to Lazarus—”Come out!”
And when we hear it, we will rise from out of our stupor, dust cobwebs from our arms, stumble to the door, our eyes blinking in the sunlight … and we will know our day has come.
It’s okay, you can smile. The bastards won’t know what hit ‘em.
Okay, putting aside just for a moment the breathtaking badness of the prose itself, what the little cocksucker is doing here is called whistling past the graveyard, pulling his stubby pud under the desk to assuage his feelings of panic and despair with regards to the future of the Republican Party.
At least, I think that’s what he’s trying to do, Jeebus. ‘We will cast our votes knowing that the day will come, four years from now, when a new leader, one who knows what the shining city truly means, stands in front of the fresh-dug tomb, and calls into the blackness, as if to Lazarus—”Come out!”‘?!
God. Damn. Somebody open a window in here. That is just painfully bad. Who’s he cribbing from now, the ex-crackhead youth minister at his megachurch?
The first point here is that anyone thinking the Conservative Base won’t find a way of frothing just as maniacally for McCain as they did against him, well, it’s awfully late in the game to expect any sort of consistency out of that crowd. The second is that Domenech supplies further evidence for my thesis that wingnuts can’t write for shit. (The tomb is freshly dug and also four years old? You can see why he had to go out and steal from people who had some clue what they were doing.)
Oh, you know, he had me at “ancient Vulcan proverb”. Nothing makes me take a person’s writing seriously quite like a degree from Patrick Henry and a well-placed reference to Mr. Spock or some other great alien sage like Obi Wan Kenobi or, you know, Mork from Orc.
Live long and prosper, bitches.
36 Responses to “Shite and Onions!”
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 1:31 am |
I’m here T. I’m always here.
By TRex on Jan 31, 2008 1:31 am |
Please forgive the dorky fan video. It was the clearest version of the song I could find.
By TRex on Jan 31, 2008 1:32 am |
Persiflage said
Yay!
By peanutbutter on Jan 31, 2008 1:36 am |
Heh. I came over here, read the entire thing, then noticed it still said “No comments.” So my timing’s good tonight.
That bit you quoted from him? Good god, let him plagiarize again! No one should have to read the sort of drivel he produces…
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 1:37 am |
I just love that he says “Read my lips”. Why? Is he writing with his lips? Actually that might explain the quality of the prose. Otherwise, Benny, Benny, Benny, I can’t see you. I don’t even know if you have lips, you ferkakatin moron.
By TRex on Jan 31, 2008 1:38 am |
Alright, you guys, I’m off to eat and hit the sack. Good night!
By Betsy on Jan 31, 2008 1:39 am |
night all
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 1:39 am |
“Only Nixon could go to China”—only McCain can save it.” I wasn’t aware that China needed saving. Those Vulcan’s aren’t that hot on writin teh Inglish eh?
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 1:40 am |
Night T, an a sweet pain-free sleep to you Betsy.
By peanutbutter on Jan 31, 2008 1:42 am |
Night, all. Or maybe my timing wasn’t so good
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 1:50 am |
I’m still here PB, if that’s any consolation.
By peanutbutter on Jan 31, 2008 2:09 am |
Yay!
On a wee tangent, I was always amused that Spock in effect compared Kirk to Nixon.
By may on Jan 31, 2008 2:14 am |
after a goodish hunt around
and bearing in mind the distance required regarding acoustics and the size of your teeth,
i found a thera-podium
soh.
oh mighty Trex
can you at all find your way to put the washington independent
on your blogroll?
please?
ta
may your fangs be always free of plaque.
By may on Jan 31, 2008 2:22 am |
surging through the dark and vasty
ocean the mighty warship called to the light in the distance
“diverge”
the reply was
“you diverge”
the warship ordered
“make way at once”
the reply was
“it is neccessary for you to make way”
the warship rapped out
“this is the USS Enterprise and you WILL MAKE WAY”
the reply was
“this is a lighthouse.
your call”
By Man in the Mists on Jan 31, 2008 2:27 am |
Yeesh! Reminds me of the old saw about how everyone wants the drunk funny guy to stop drinking, only to find out that he’s the perfect cure for insomnia when he’s sober.
By peanutbutter on Jan 31, 2008 2:31 am |
*grin*
An oldie but goldie. I’ve always loved that one.
By may on Jan 31, 2008 2:34 am |
shoulda made it the “USS bush”.
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 2:38 am |
Hi May, I remember reading that at a lighthouse I visited somehwere near Exmouth. Caused a good giggle, especially with the Canadian tourists.
By burnspbesq on Jan 31, 2008 2:39 am |
Wow. That truly is some bad writing.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but Ben, just who the f**k do the Republicans have in the farm system who can be a viable candidate in 2012? Not only are you no longer the party of ideas (assuming arguendo that you ever were), but you really need to upgrade your recruiting or you’re going to become the political equivalent of the University of Kentucky basketball team — proud tradition but not worth jack s**t now.
By may on Jan 31, 2008 2:52 am |
hi persi and all.
couldn’t help myself.
it was the word enterprise that did it and this is a post concerning really bad writing.
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 3:04 am |
Burns, how kind of you to limit your description to ‘bad’. I don’t know who the 2012 Repub messiah could be. If such a creature exists, they’re keeping him well under wraps.
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 3:15 am |
If you can’t get tech support or your online banking is a bit squiffy this might explain it. From today’s Sydney Morning Herald.
—————-
India’s vital outsourcing industry, which relies heavily on the Internet, struggled to overcome supply disruptions Thursday after damage to undersea cables in the Mediterranean.
Internet connections may take up to 15 days to return to normal, businesses said, adding that telecommunications in neighbouring Bangladesh and Sri Lanka were also affected.
“Information-technology companies, software companies and call centres that provide online services to the UK or the US East Coast are the worst affected,” said Rajesh Chharia, president of the Internet Service Providers’ Association of India.
“Some of them are re-routing through the Pacific as a backup, but the voice quality and speed of traffic will be highly degraded,” he said, adding this solution left operators with half their normal bandwidth.
By Persiflage on Jan 31, 2008 3:31 am |
Oh, and harking back to the McCain thread, is anyone taking bets on who will be the first of the talking head shills to drive McCain into one of his foam-flecked, curse-laden tantrums on live TV?
By El Gordo on Jan 31, 2008 4:57 am |
The tears of laughter are running down my face. Great writing T-Rex!
By MR Bill on Jan 31, 2008 6:06 am |
Fuck, is Ben Domenech back? I have a Kingon quote then: “They have no Honor.”
Didn’t Ben write the line in the Cornyn speech about ‘man on box turtle’ sex?
And I remember the clutching of Debbie Howell’s pearls at the Washington Post, over how those nasty, uncivil liberals had, what, shown Domenech to be a plagiarist. His columns were insulting right wing triumphalism, void of fact.
Dang. So, anyway, the new job is tough, but I’m working with a good kid, and we will manage 3 installations of ovens at Dunkin donuts on N.Druid Hills Rd, Cobb. Pkwy, and Covington today.
25, cloudy in Bucholic Blue Ridge.
By MR Bill on Jan 31, 2008 6:31 am |
urhg, should be “Klingon”.
By ¡El Gato Negro! on Jan 31, 2008 8:02 am |
Eet ees almost enough to make me wish he even yet worked for the WashingComPost.
pfui.
By madmommy on Jan 31, 2008 8:04 am |
Morning all! Geez Louise, can any of these wingnuts construct a decent sentence, let alone a paragraph? Without stealing it outright, of course. Once again I am thankful that you read this dreck so that I don’t have to.
So, the big kid’s first loose tooth finally fell out this morning, what’s the going rate for the tooth fairy these days?
By burnspbesq on Jan 31, 2008 10:04 am |
madmommy said
If you were to ask Man-Cub, he’d say $20, but he’s always been a little mercenary. I think $5 is a more realistic answer.
By sophie g on Jan 31, 2008 10:56 am |
madmommy said
Congrats to big kid!
Our tooth fairy brings $2, but daughter g reports that there are kids at school who get as much as $10. $5 sounds reasonable to me–it’s just that we already locked ourselves in at $2 a few years ago with son g.
By augmented4th on Jan 31, 2008 11:16 pm |
Stealy McCopycat? Precious! Channeling Stephanie Miller? Delicious!
By jamey on Feb 1, 2008 11:20 am |
That video? Wow, Jonny Marr has really let himself go.
By zxevil160 on Mar 13, 2008 10:30 am |
BAbOTH U cool ))
By noname on Apr 6, 2008 2:03 pm |
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By Nicksus on Apr 9, 2008 6:23 am |
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