And, And Ronald Reagan Was Stronger Than Superman!

November 24th, 2009 by TRex @ 8:31 am| Posted in why the fuck are you still here? |

Oh, Tucker, what is this mythical world you’ve dreamed up inside your empty little head?

Crooks and Liars: When asked about how people feel about quitter Sarah-Barracuda, Tucker pulled out the tired old McCain campaign rhetoric about how President Obama is “less experienced” than Palin even though he thinks there should be “more respect for the office” than to want to elect either one of them. Tucker added that he believes Palin is smarter than Al Gore, and just thinks its “weird” that anyone would be terrified of her and afraid that she might actually have a chance of being elected President.

Tucker, it’s amazing how you’re only just now 40 and yet you’re already a relic, a bit of unemployed cable TV detritus washed up on the polluted shores of Pox News and the less-watched spillways of C-SPAN.  What last few wisps of credibility Jon Stewart was gracious enough to let you walk away with after he performed a back-alley abortion on your career, you traded in for a pumpkin-colored frilly pirate shirt, sequins, and a jerky, wooden-limbed three-episode run on “Dancing With the Stars”.

Honestly, that should have finished you off for good.  And yet here you are again, like Alex P. Keaton gone soft and bitter in middle age, Granpa George Will’s lost nephew, rattling your tin cup on whatever cable shows will have you and spewing reheated talking points out of your swollen Moon Pie of a face that have the distinctly bleary, delusional aftertaste of the early second term of George W. Bush.  It’s over, Tucker.  Go home and lay on the deep, plushy cushions of your mother’s frozen food fortune and leave us working folks alone, okay?  Thanks.

  1. 10 Responses to “And, And Ronald Reagan Was Stronger Than Superman!”

  2. By punaise on Nov 24, 2009 10:43 am |

    starbursts!

  3. By litbrit on Nov 24, 2009 10:48 am |

    And Sarah is prettier than Wonder Woman, and she can make mooseburgers while wearing 7-inch heels!

    Gah, I’m glad Tucker is on his way out. He is, right? Please say yes.

  4. By GReynoldsCT00 on Nov 24, 2009 11:14 am |

    Glad you’re back TRex, we’ve missed you

  5. By TRex on Nov 24, 2009 11:54 am |

    Thanks, G, it’s good to be back.

  6. By punaise on Nov 24, 2009 12:11 pm |

    ooops, *starbursts* was Rich Lowry. I get those spoiled snot-nosed rich kids mixed up all the time.

  7. By TRex on Nov 24, 2009 12:47 pm |

    punaise said

    ooops, *starbursts* was Rich Lowry. I get those spoiled snot-nosed rich kids mixed up all the time.

    They are virtually indistinguishable except by their boarding school nicknames. I believe that Tucker was called “Squeak” and Rich was known as “Needle Knob”.

  8. By e on Nov 24, 2009 12:59 pm |

    Believe me you, I’m no fan of Fucker The Bow Tie……but I do think that Rich Lowry’s self-avowed masturbation to Sarah Palin on the teevee puts him in a, um, “class” by himself.

  9. By Alicia Morgan on Nov 24, 2009 2:19 pm |

    You know, I have had it up to here with Imagination-land. Go disappear there, Tucker, and don’t bother the rest of us in Realityville.

    And take your co-star Tom ‘Twinkle-Toes’ DeLay with you. May the two of you dance off into the sunset together. Forever.

  10. By Sharonlee on Nov 24, 2009 4:13 pm |

    I saw that Tucker quote yesterday and wondered From where he had appeared. Surely no self-respecting journalist would go looking for a comment from him.

    I have always enjoyed those frozen food products but now cringe when I think of money going to Tucker.

  11. By punaise on Nov 24, 2009 4:14 pm |

    punaise said

    They are virtually indistinguishable except by their boarding school nicknames. I believe that Tucker was called “Squeak” and Rich was known as “Needle Knob”.

    I would have pegged them as Biff and Chet, the Hardly Boys.

Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.