Tea Minutes’ Hate

April 10th, 2009 by TRex @ 1:55 pm| Posted in GOP Cargo Cult, fauxtrage |

This is the part where I start to yearn for superflu to thin the herd a bit, the part where we talk about the Tea Baggers and their dumbass protests on Tax Day.  Pareene says:

This is what the Tea Party thing is about: a bunch of think tanks and marketing firms are convincing a couple thousand unemployed right wing cranks to get together to protest literally everything (but mostly they are protesting still-imaginary future tax increases that have been proposed by no one), and they are protesting by mailing Lipton tea bags to members of congress, along with cryptic, nonsensical notes. (We are angry in Maine!)

It would be hilarious if it just weren’t so brain-scaldingly stupid.  Okay, it’s kind of hilarious.  Rachel Maddow and some soccer mom lady had a big time with it on last night’s Rachel Maddow Show.  An excerpt via Linkins:

Tonight, on the Rachel Maddow Show, Maddow and regular guest, Air America’s Ana Marie Cox, discussed the fringetastic anti-tax Renaissance Faires known as “tea parties.” There is only one thing in all the world worth noting about the people behind these things, and it is this: everyone involved is apparently unaware of what the term “teabagging” means. As you will see, this is not the case with Maddow and Cox.

“Now, no laughing off set or I will lose it!” begged Maddow, “I’m only barely making it through as it is.” She said this BEFORE Cox joined the segment. From there, it just got better: “Who wouldn’t want to tea bag John McCain?”

Uh, everyone who isn’t you and Michael Scherer, crazy Soccer Mom Lady.

But anyway, this set of catastrophic goat-fucks national network of grassroots protests was cynically engineered by PR and financial firms sprang up spontaneously across the nation in response to Obama’s direct threat to the rights of the wealthy to prey upon average citizens and cheat their tax obligations.  What a bunch of proud patriots those Republicans are.  RIGHTS FOR THE RICH!  FUCK THE POOR AND SICK!  RIGHTS FOR THE RICH!  DON’T LET THEM TAKE AWAY OUR SHIT!

That’s right, GOP, you fuckwits need to get out there and show those grimy peasants who’s boss!  This country was founded on the exploitation of poor and brown-skinned people and that’s the goddamn way it’s gonna stay!  Until you all keel over dead of prostate cancer because you can’t afford health care either.

Tax Day’s pointless exercises in Right Wing petulance promise to be just as effective as Red State f(l)ounder Erick Erickson’s campaign to RUIN the hippies’ Big Commie Plot to Save Energy by turning on all the lights in the house and leaving the car running in the driveway.

You know, I would very much like to propose that we have a national “Liberals Say Don’t Poke Yourself in the Eye With a Sharp Stick Day”.  But please wait until I’ve started my own eye-patch company here in Georgia and other points south.  I’ll be a fucking millionaire.