Let’s Get Something Straight Here, pt. XXVIII
The headline says, “Britney Spears Performs Live Again”.
But this:
…is not a live performance. It’s pantomime. A pre-recorded track is playing while Britney Spears and a troupe of dancers mime along, lip-synching every note, which is basically an expensive version of what you can see drunkenly staggering around on stage at every drag club in America on a Saturday night.
This:
…is performing live.
Get it straight, Huffington Post. That headline should read, “Britney Spears Performs ‘Live’ Again”, or just, “Britney Spears Lip-Synchs Her Crappy New Single and Manages Not to Dissolve Into a Complete, Glassy-Eyed Train-Wreck Like She Did at Last Years MTV Awards“.
As an actual singer, I find these distinctions to be important. Britney Spears (alleged) singing “voice” is a tiny, pathetic wisp of digital static that is completely incapable of surviving on its own outside of the highly processed confines of her producers’ Pro-Tools rig. Okay?
Meanwhile, an old friend of mine has a new music blog. No square-quotes necessary.
17 Responses to “Let’s Get Something Straight Here, pt. XXVIII”
By darkblack on Nov 29, 2008 12:00 am |
Britney …’lip-synched’?
gasp…couch…salts
;>)
By SusanD on Nov 29, 2008 12:31 am |
Man. She is so pitiful it hurts to watch, and it’s torture to listen. I feel pity for her, but even more so for her two children.
By DrDick on Nov 29, 2008 12:58 am |
Is there anyone anywhere (well except that guy on YouTube) who still takes Britney seriously? I mean, I never did, but she is so last week’s stale toast.
By Shell on Nov 29, 2008 1:42 am |
Off topic: TRex, you live in Georgia. What do you think of the new Saxby Chambliss campaign ad?
By TRex on Nov 29, 2008 2:28 am |
Shell said
I saw it for the first time yesterday and it squicked me out so bad I haven’t been able to write about it.
By distributorcap on Nov 29, 2008 11:10 am |
you mean those paste performances were live? i thought it was dead ex-mousketeer walking or lipsynching
By dakine01 on Nov 29, 2008 11:16 am |
Otis My MAN!
One of the best reviews of the Blues Brothers when they first cam out was in Rolling Stone. They said, “OK, yeah, The Blues Brothers. Fine. Put the record on at the party. Get everyone’s attention. Then put on Otis Redding Live In Europe and let them hear the real thing.”
Otis Redding was indeed the Real Thing.
Britney Spears wouldn’t know the real thing is it smacked her in the head.
By empressmitzi on Nov 29, 2008 12:33 pm |
Yes, I feel your pain. I’ve given up trying to explain to people why I don’t listen to much current music - overprocessed non-voices and the same monotonous thumping ‘rhythm’ track behind everything - and just let them think it’s encroaching middle age. Sigh. Much love for the Otis clip, it’s fantastic.
By Roket on Nov 29, 2008 5:10 pm |
Who is Britney Spears and why is she dressed like a whore? I also noticed that there was not even a semblance of a backup band. If it’s 100% synthesized, then that makes her nothing more than a bright shiny glass ball hanging on a tree. You go girl. Shine on you crazy glass ball.
By DrDick on Nov 29, 2008 11:19 pm |
Oh and us straight people don’t want her either. You guys are stuck with her, just like Eliza, Madonna, and Cher.
By Comrade Rutherford on Nov 30, 2008 9:59 am |
The Cars were a track act, and reviled for it. But these kids today have never hear one single live performance. The music industry has killed off music, locked it up tight. The only ‘bands’ that make it big are completely and tightly controlled and marketed.
When boy bands her the rage I would see these books (in the bookstore) about them, they were 100% fake histories about them, where they grew up, how they met. Not one shred of truth in there. Crazy lies like how they practiced in the garage and a kid walking by heard them and begged to join, how they would do shows for the neighborhood. 100% unmitigated BS.
The reality is that the marketing department carefully mixed and matched dozens of boys based solely on how they looked, made up personas for them, had their ‘music’ made by computer jockeys, etc.
No one under 25 has heard actual, real music.
By Comrade Rutherford on Nov 30, 2008 10:04 am |
Why does all the music I do hear nowadays sound exactly like Beatles ripoffs? Half the music used on TV commercials sound exactly like the Beatles. I suspect that the RIAA has created a computer algorithm that mimics any Beatles song. Of course the kids today can’t listen to the real thing because it’s ‘old’. So they buy this computer-made lie forced on them by the RIAA’s marketers and think it’s good.
And another thing!
Get off my lawn! …stoopid kids….
By cbl2 on Nov 30, 2008 11:26 am |
ok, so I’m late with the Thanksgiving greetings. sounds like you had a fabulous holiday with MamaRex.
and Otis ? my love of all things Rex continues unabated
caught pics of your boyz downstairs - could they be any more adorable ?
hope you are well David.
mad love,
cbl
By Lancelot Link on Nov 30, 2008 7:48 pm |
Well, the article doesn’t say “Britney Spears sings live again”, does it?
By punaise on Nov 30, 2008 10:26 pm |
loose lips sink ships
loose lip-syncs hip
By Rick Massimo on Dec 1, 2008 12:39 pm |
“Well, the article doesn’t say “Britney Spears sings live again”, does it?”
That’s a critical weaselly distinction that was first made about 10 years ago. Pretty much anything that involves standing in front of a group of people and doing something is defined as “performing.”
By EvilDrPuma on Dec 1, 2008 6:18 pm |
Rick Massimo said
Well, that explains how Bush can still have an approval rating above zero, doesn’t it?