The Blog Post of Today

November 20th, 2008 by TRex @ 6:28 pm| Posted in misc. |

(photo and biscuits by Jezebel commenter Abby Normal)

I’m in kind of a mood today. Some of you who have been reading me for a while will remember when my friend Elissa succumbed to cancer in 2006.  When she was in the hospital, before they moved her hospice care, there was a guy whose wife was on her floor who used to play guitar in Cyndi Lauper’s band.  One night when Elissa was in awful pain that the morphine wouldn’t touch, the guy (whose name, I think, was David) came to her room with his guitar and played while Elissa sang to help herself think about something besides the pain.  I spoke to David at Elissa’s funeral and he couldn’t get through the story without big tears welling up in his eyes.

“Do you know any Cyndi Lauper songs?” Elissa asked him, not knowing that he used to play in Lauper’s band.

“Yeah,” he said, “Which one?”

“Can we do ‘Time After Time’?” she asked.  And they did.  David said that it was one of the most beautiful renditions of the song that he ever heard, and that was when the tears started to show in his eyes.

I was walking down the hall here at work earlier and there was a version of that song playing on the Lite Jazz XM station they keep on in the parts of the building that don’t house the radio station…

When you’re lost,
You can look
and you will find me.
Time after time.
When you fall,
I will catch you,
I will be waiting.
Time after time…

It made me miss Elissa, and it made me miss Gussy, my 20-year-old Siamese who went missing last spring.  It’s cold here in Georgia and it’s going to get colder (low 20’s tomorrow night) and the onset of winter always makes me melancholy as I think about the inevitable dying-off and eventual renewal of the seasons, and the people and things that we all have to ultimately surrender to the merciless forward progression of time.  Gawd, today I even miss Satchmo, TBogg’s grouchy old Bassett Hound, who I never even met.

Anyhow, that was the state of mind I was in when I read Jezebel’s Reader Comment of the Day, and it resonated with me, so I’m reproducing it here:

Only a Bestie today because it’s long, in response to New York Doctors Tell 26-Year-Old She Needs Botox: “I’m going to tell a story. It’s about biscuits. Please bear with me. A Buddhist priest told me this story, about how he used to be the chief baker in his monastery. He tried to make the best biscuits he could make - fluffy, buttery, warm, delicious biscuits. But no matter what he did, the biscuits were never good enough. Too dry, or too moist, never quite right. He was getting very dissatisfied and upset with himself. Then, he realized that he was trying to capture the essence of the biscuits that he had as a child and that the biscuits he remembered were an idealized, unreal version. The reason his biscuits never tasted good enough is because they never could be, but only so long as he tried to capture the essence of an unreal, imagined perfect biscuit. When he realized this, he decided to make the ‘biscuit of today’ not the biscuit of the past. It was imperfect, unlike anything he remembered as a young child, but the most delicious biscuit he had ever had, because it simply WAS. It was not idealized or perfected, it was just itself. And it was perfect in its imperfections, because there was nothing else it could be. Ladies, I think it is high time we all start being the biscuit of today. Love yourself as you are, perfectly ‘imperfect.’ And do not put a knife (or botulism) anywhere near your cooter.” We say: words to live by.

Sigh.

Be the biscuit of today, y’all.  It’s ultimately all we can really do.

And that’s what I’ve got.  Thanks for letting me share.

  1. 33 Responses to “The Blog Post of Today”

  2. By moistenedbink on Nov 20, 2008 7:19 pm |

    Beautiful blog post for today. It’s a hard frame of mind to maintain but it does pay off when we can.

  3. By Valley Girl on Nov 20, 2008 7:29 pm |

    Oh, Trex,

    This is a wonderful post. One of your best ever, imho.

    Thank you so much

  4. By TRex on Nov 20, 2008 7:33 pm |

    moistenedbink said

    Beautiful blog post for today. It’s a hard frame of mind to maintain but it does pay off when we can.

    Except now I’m totally craving biscuits and gravy.

  5. By Valley Girl on Nov 20, 2008 7:49 pm |

    p.s. oh, and David, I remembered your posts about Elissa, so this post was a wonderful coda.

    And, prompted me to go off in to YouTube land to find a good vid of Time after time. Still not sure which one I prefer, but this link has the lyrics showing above the audio. It is a great song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1VlRqeTkE0

    Again, thank you.

  6. By ixnay on Nov 20, 2008 7:57 pm |

    Oh, my. There’s so much that I want to say about Gus, and Satchmo, and my own fur-babies recently gone, and relationships, and all that. But the idea of being the biscuit of today … yeah, that has pretty much reduced me to a puddle. Thanks, T.

  7. By Valley Girl on Nov 20, 2008 8:07 pm |

    p.p.s. and prompted by ixnay’s comment above, and Gus. I know about that too. I’m with ixnay. Puddle.

  8. By Laura on Nov 20, 2008 8:55 pm |

    Make that three puddles, please. Thank you for a perfect post.

    I got my black belt at the end of September. I had been looking forward to it for years, literally. And when I cut my hand so badly this summer (it’s still not back to pre-accident and won’t be, but it’s still getting better so that’s good) I had to sit on the edge of the mat for 2 months and just watch people. Doing that led me to an insight I feel way down deep: we really are perfect. Not because we’re flawless, but because we’re here. Because we bother to Show Up.

    Thanks for Showing Up, time after time, dear T.

  9. By Petedownunder on Nov 20, 2008 10:36 pm |

    T - Great post. The Future Mrs Downunder just lost the 10 Kilogram Kitty that’s been part of her life for 16 years so we sympathize with all of the losses both human and otherwise. All we can do is take care of each other. Take care of yourself too, and if that means biscuits and gravy (a dish for which as a Yankee I don’t understand the appeal) go for it.

  10. By nanz on Nov 20, 2008 10:52 pm |

    Fits the mood out here today. Thank you TRex,

  11. By M. Douglas Wray on Nov 21, 2008 1:31 am |

    Time after time sums up the human heart so succinctly it makes the piano of my heart play a chord. Lauper is to be much praised for that creative moment that has made so many hearts rise up. I often have a low opinion of humankind - that song goes a long way towards rekindling my love of my fellow being. Thanks for this post, poignant. !!

  12. By Cat In Seattle on Nov 21, 2008 1:42 am |

    As someone whose “made from scratch” biscuits used to turn out like hockey pucks, that was beautiful TRex! For years I just used trusty ol’ Bisquick. But now, no more. My sister MADE me make her biscuit recipe when I visited her recently while she hung over my shoulder, and they came out wonderfully. BTW the recipe came from the Fanny Farmer Cookbook.

    As for enjoying things in the moment and idealizing things in the past. Take it from an old hippie wannabe who became a parent in her teens instead, I looked on longingly for years to people going off to college, attending “be ins,” wearing patchouli oil, and “demonstrating,” which in reality were giant street parties that had little to do with anything for change. They then turned into YUPPIES and suddenly free love and alternative lifestyles were *not* quite what they wanted for their children, nor was anything liberal because they were now professionals with high paying jobs and nice houses in nice neighborhoods and being a “hippie” was something to ridicule. The true hippies became community organizers and lived in poverty and endured this ridicule working for justice, I am one of them. These Yuppies are now suffering the consequences of ignoring what they pretended to be so “into” in their youth when in reality it was just a giant frat party. They talk about their youthful years in either whispers or not at all, or when they do it is with a sort of “those were the days” tint. OH yes, that was the time when making love was sweet, eating fresh peaches just tasted better, and the music was supposedly better than today’s music. Uhhhh, I want SO bad to tell them they turned into their parents and merely exchanged their tastes for the Stones and The Who from their parents’ swing music and their harsh judgment of the coming generations are no different than the fights they had with their parents over the Viet Nam War. I want to tell them that instead of complaining about it,that some of the music, poetry and activism today leaves ours in the dust when it comes to insight, lyrics, technique, and passion. I want to tell them that now, while they are losing their homes and retirement money, perhaps the change we were looking for back then might have made things better if they had only really listened to MLK, RFK, Malcom X and the other dreamers of our time. I want to ask them that for me, who lived what these greats inspired in me, they are no better off than I am now, are they?

    So being a biscuit with attitude might make life a little sweeter with a velvety crumb if we just take things by the moment and yes, we do have to worry about the future in some ways, but also just really really LOOK at what is beautiful, tasty, and amazing that is happening right now.

    My 2 cents

    Cat In Seattle

  13. By Suzanne on Nov 21, 2008 5:06 am |

    i am the biscuit of today, trex. thank you for this beautiful reminder.

  14. By sangemon on Nov 21, 2008 8:40 am |

    Hey TRex -

    That was a nice melancholy post. Brought a tear to my eye, made me want to eat a biscuit.

    Here’s something that might cheer you up:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/19/jean-claude-van-damme-hit_n_144981.html

    sangemon said

    Jean-Claude Van Damme did a Q&A with Newsweek’s Sarah Ball, and at the end of the interview he stops answering questions about his new film “JCVD” and starts hitting on her instead. Van Damme, 48 and 5′9, is currently married to his fifth wife.

    It’s pretty funny.

  15. By Jay P. on Nov 21, 2008 9:27 am |

    T-Rex,

    First time commentor, but long time reader. I can totally relate to this post. Being from a long line of southerners, I know what the monk meant about biscuits. My mother to this day makes great b&g, but always ends each meal with the same lament: “They’ll never be like momma’s.” This post is a very cool reminder to live in the now, but appreciate what got you there.

  16. By Karma on Nov 21, 2008 10:41 am |

    But what if I want to be the muffin of today?

  17. By TRex on Nov 21, 2008 11:02 am |

    Karma said

    But what if I want to be the muffin of today?

    That’s okay, too. Or even the bagel and shmear of today.

  18. By Fagealalosy on Nov 21, 2008 11:47 am |

    Слушай, аффтар, а ты сам писал или перписывал откуда-то?

  19. By snapekat on Nov 21, 2008 2:05 pm |

    I’m all for daily baked goods! But I’d still rather have cosmetic surgery! :-D

    Lovely post, though. Hugs for you!

  20. By Rayne on Nov 21, 2008 2:27 pm |

    It’s that time of year. Time to whip out the “Home for the Holidays” DVD.

  21. By Tribe on Nov 21, 2008 2:28 pm |

    Thanks for sharing, TRex. Keep coming back.

  22. By Scout on Nov 21, 2008 2:36 pm |

    TRex - thank you thank you thank you for such a beautiful post. It was the perfect combination of sweet and sad notes. I remember Elissa from your old blog. Both she and Gussy are with you still, and always will be.

    Cat in Seattle - I think we may be twins separated at birth.

  23. By TRex on Nov 21, 2008 3:35 pm |

    Fresh thread:

    http://www.iamtrex.com/?p=2024

  24. By Mungen_Cakes on Nov 22, 2008 8:36 pm |

    Ich bin ein biscuit of today

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