“If You’d Been a Dog, They’d Have Drowned You at Birth…”

November 14th, 2008 by TRex @ 4:19 pm| Posted in misc. |

I’m starting to get a little stir-crazy here.  In spite of the fact that my sinuses feel like hot coals somebody shoved into my head, I have now become bored enough with sitting at home that I really, really want a cigarette.  Now, it’s been five weeks, but lately when I’ve been wanting to smoke, I just go work out.  I can’t do that right now, obviously, so I’m just sitting here getting more and more annoyed.

If God existed, then Tony Perkins and the rest of the Prop 8 apparatchik would be afflicted with painful oozing pustules on their private parts.  Of course, who’s to say they aren’t?  And would anyone actually notice?

TBogg thinks Andrew Sullivan has redeemed himself for the most part.  I’m withholding judgement, though.  He still seems a little apt to fly off to Cloudcuckooland at the least provocation if you ask me.  (I admit, I took that Fifth Column bullshit of his at the outset of the Iraq War pretty personally.)  This bit about Sarah Palin was pretty good, though:

This deluded and delusional woman still doesn’t understand what happened to her; still has no self-awareness; and has never been forced to accept her obvious limitations. She cannot keep even the most trivial story straight; she repeats untruths with a ferocity and calm that is reserved only to the clinically unhinged; she has the educational level of a high school drop-out; and regards ignorance as some kind of achievement. It is excruciating to watch her - but more excruciating to watch those who feel obliged to defend her.

Her candidacy, in short, was indefensible. It remains indefensible.

And, yes, Governor Hockey Twat is still serving up tossed Word Salad as her perennial daily special:

BLITZER: Does that mean you want to come up with a new Sarah Palin initiative that you want to release right now.

PALIN: Gah! Nothing specific right now. Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations.

How long do you suppose it’s going to take the brain-dead Right to finally cop to the fact that their dyspraxic GILF is functionally retarded?

I know you’re not supposed to eat sugar and dairy products when you’re congested, but how can I resist this particular Schadenfreude sundae from Mr. Edroso?

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? I hadn’t thought about Kim du Toit — celebrated author of “The Pussification of the American Male” and other two-fisted screeds on self-reliance — for quite some time when pure, blind luck led me to this fascinating essay by his wife, explaining why Mr. du Toit will soon cease blogging, despite an alleged flood of reader protests: “The truth is folks, we can’t afford it.”

Astonishingly, blogging has not been the bonanza the du Toits might have wished for, and as Mr. du Toit is unable to “contribute to our financial requirements” with a more traditional job because of his gout, times have grown hard. Mrs. du Toit cashed in her IRA last year, but that money was all spent on a “last hurrah around the world with our kids,” lap-band surgery for their daughter, household repairs, and servers for Mr. du Toit’s blogging.

Oh, you know, I’d contribute to the du Twat family’s little fund drive except I can’t seem to see well enough to find the ‘Donate’ button through my tears.  Of laughter.

“We’ve staid-off bankruptcy, but just barely,” says Mrs. du Toit. “The truth is, we spoke to an attorney about bankruptcy, but we’d be forced into a two year commitment of repayment, not debt forgiveness, and the kid’s college would be the expense we’d have to stop under that scenario.”

Such are the terms of the Bankruptcy Bill supported and voted for by John McCain, whom Kim du Toit supported against the wealth-redistributionist he calls “The Black Stalin.” To his credit, his family’s financial situation has not softened him on this, and he asks not for government largesse — except for the disappointing bankruptcy protection — but for “gifts” from his readers. These, alas, have been insufficient: “Kim’s recent ‘Gold Watch’ bleg has yielded about a $1,500 total, over two months. If folks think that blegs yield Andrew-Sullivan like windfalls, they’re mistaken.”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s that money from blogging is like snow in Georgia.  There’s never much and when it does come, you never know how much there will be or how long it’s going to be around.  Maybe the little roly-poly family of fascists could make a buck or two selling some of those guns they’re so enamored of posing for pictures with.

But back to you, Roy:

We trust that if the Obama Administration offers a program intended to provide relief to families like the du Toits, they will bat it away as a poisoned, socialist chalice.

You know, I don’t think people go bankrupt from lap-band surgery in countries with socialized medicine, do they?

And finally, TBogg notifies us that we have a new message from Confederate Yankee:

A hungover and disheveled Gun Counter Gomer stumbles out of his backyard toolshed/Worldwide Media Center/man place, trips over a stack of empty jugs with xxx on them, and taunts the yellow-bellied bluestatecoats:

Dear 52,

It seems the man you entrusted with your vote lied about his relationship with domestic terrorist and attempted mass murderer Bill Ayers.

Many of you either didn’t hear about Ayers, or accepted Obama’s evolving explanations that Ayers was “just a guy in his neighborhood,” or someone that he thought had gone through some sort of terrorist rehabilitation—perhaps at the Yasser Arafat wing of the Betty Ford Clinic.

But now that Ayers has come out and admitted that their relationship is very close—”family friends” is how he put it—how does that make you feel?

I ask, becuase as Malcolm once explained, you’ve been hoodwinked. You’ve been had. You’ve been took. You’ve been led astray, led amok. You’ve been bamboozled.

You’ve been conned in to voting the family friend of a known terrorist into the White House.

How does that make you feel?

Still pretty awesome, there, Gomer.  Just awesome.  Couldn’t be happier.  Now, don’t you have some weed-killer to drink or something?  Run along.

  1. 40 Responses to ““If You’d Been a Dog, They’d Have Drowned You at Birth…””

  2. By distributorcap on Nov 14, 2008 4:56 pm |

    Governor Hockey Twat

    i CANNOT stop laughing…. i am falling off the seat…..

  3. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 4:56 pm |

    I don’t think we’ll ever understand what’s going through Thom Yorke’s brilliant, twisted mind, but that’s OK.

    merci pour la musique de Radiohead.

  4. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 5:02 pm |

    hey, back in the saddle, TRex!

    btw I have a new descriptor for Sulky Sarah: smugnorant.

  5. By EvilDrPuma on Nov 14, 2008 5:16 pm |

    punaise said

    …smugnorant.

    I think this one is going to get a lot of play.

  6. By Laura on Nov 14, 2008 6:24 pm |

    punaise said

    hey, back in the saddle, TRex!

    btw I have a new descriptor for Sulky Sarah: smugnorant.

    Le mot juste, Punaise!

  7. By DrDick on Nov 14, 2008 6:35 pm |

    If God existed, then Tony Perkins and the rest of the Prop 8 apparatchik would be afflicted with painful oozing pustules on their private parts.

    But I thought Tony Perkins was a painful oozing pustule? Can a pustule have pustules? I am so confused.

  8. By TRex on Nov 14, 2008 6:39 pm |

    Laura said

    punaise said

    hey, back in the saddle, TRex!

    btw I have a new descriptor for Sulky Sarah: smugnorant.

    Le mot juste, Punaise!

    He’s so good for that.

  9. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 7:11 pm |

    smugnoramous?

  10. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 7:13 pm |

    some folks are really worked up about Hillary for Sect’y of State. I think it could work.

  11. By Mykljak on Nov 14, 2008 7:14 pm |

    You do some of your best blogging when under the weather. Get well anyway.

  12. By Bill on Nov 14, 2008 7:35 pm |

    I quit smoking, after 30 plus years, July 7, 2004. I used the milligram patch dose series for eight weeks (?), and consider it the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was born in 1952.

    Keep up the good fight(s).

  13. By darkblack on Nov 14, 2008 8:16 pm |

    ‘How does that make you feel?’

    Well, Gomer, it makes me feel like contacting your state representatives to ensure that some program is in place to help incorrigible gasoline sippers learn valuable doily-making skills rather than wasting their time clogging the Internet with their inanities in an unsupervised fashion.

    ;>)

  14. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 8:25 pm |

    hey darkblack - I couldn’t log on to comment on your site, but wanted to wish you well in your de-blogification effort.

  15. By darkblack on Nov 14, 2008 8:36 pm |

    Thank you, P. Something had to give, but if circumstances allow…

    Meanwhile, I can always hang in the peanut gallery.

    ;>)

  16. By punaise on Nov 14, 2008 8:50 pm |

    darkblack said

    Thank you, P. Something had to give, but if circumstances allow…

    Meanwhile, I can always hang in the peanut gallery.

    ;>)

    …where I’m sure you can manage the occasional elbow in the ribs as we jockey for position. ;~)

  17. By Valley Girl on Nov 15, 2008 1:49 am |

    hey punaise, hey db, sorry not to have gotten here sooner, but can I be part of the peanut gallery too? Please? I promise to behave. ;)

  18. By darkblack on Nov 15, 2008 3:35 am |

    OK, VG…But we’re all out of peanuts.

    ;>)

  19. By Rayne on Nov 15, 2008 3:37 am |

    My stars. What does Mrs. Du Toit mean by her recent vague comments about ridding the life boat of extra weight??

    It didn’t read like social commentary as much as personal commentary…

    I suppose it will ultimately be OUR fault that the Du Toits’ experienced a business failure in 2004 under a Republican administration and a Republican Congress. Wicked, slippery liberals are the root of all evil, after all.

    And probably the cause of the cold you’ve gotten, TRex. So sorry.

  20. By Redshift on Nov 15, 2008 3:48 pm |

    The lack of self-awareness behind a statement like this:

    Redshift said

    Mrs. du Toit cashed in her IRA last year, but that money was all spent on a “last hurrah around the world with our kids,”…

    could only come from a true conservative, I think. (The passive voice is a nice touch — we didn’t throw our money away, “it was all spent.”) Following up that statement with a complaint that after they blew the last of their money on themselves, their readers didn’t give them a bunch more, is pretty over the top even for a conservative.

  21. By TRex on Nov 15, 2008 6:56 pm |

    Fresh thready goodness!

    http://www.iamtrex.com/?p=1974

  22. By Арвен on Nov 17, 2008 9:28 am |

    Спасибо. Прочитал с интересом, и вообще полезный у Вас блог

  23. By k55f on Nov 17, 2008 6:00 pm |

    I ran some palinspeak through the ‘ol pirate generator to see if it could garble it any more.
    I’ll be dammed if it didn’t make it more coherent!

    k55f said

    PALIN: Gah! Nothin’ specific starboard now. Sittin’ here in these chairs that I’m goin’ t’ be proposin’ but in workin’ wi’ these governors who again on th’ fore lines be forced t’ an’ ‘t’s our privileged obligation t’ find solutions t’ th’ challenges facin’ our own states ever’ tide bein’ held accountable, nay bein’ jus’ one o’ many jus’ castin’ votes or votin’ present ever’ once in a while, we don’t get away wi’ that. We be havin’ t’ balance budgets an’ we’re dealin’ wi’ multibillion piece o’ eight budgets an’ tens o’ chestfulls o’ crewmen in our organizations.
    Ya horn swogglin’ scurvy cur!

  24. By Sony Ericsson on Nov 26, 2008 12:06 pm |

    Ne ponimayu v 4em delo - ne mogu napisat russkim wriftom u vas. Poprav’te plz!!

  25. By xperia on Dec 4, 2008 8:19 pm |

    Zdravstvuyte! Ob’yasnite pojaluysta, po4emu kogda ya pytayus’ napisat zdes’ kommenarii russkim shriftom mne vydaetsya warning: unexpected string??

  26. By friend on Dec 6, 2008 10:47 am |

    Prochital s udovolstviem

  27. By Смелый николай on Dec 26, 2008 9:42 am |

    ar@mail.ru

  28. By stroitelstvo on Dec 26, 2008 11:25 am |

    RSS u vas po4emu-to pokazyvaet tolko po pervye 300 postov - tak i doljno byt?

  29. By Строитель судеб on Jan 9, 2009 5:29 am |

    gretta@nm.ru

  30. By Будинас Коля on Jan 9, 2009 10:15 am |

    gretta@nm.ru

  31. By Vaservan on Jan 21, 2009 4:00 pm |

    У вас RSS в кривой кодировке!

  32. By Valert on Jan 29, 2009 12:19 am |

    Я думала, что так не бывает

  33. By блог о seo on Feb 1, 2009 12:47 pm |

    Благодарствую, полезная вещь.

  34. By queen on Feb 23, 2009 4:36 pm |

    Я как-то раньше не придавал этому значения.

  35. By Наталья on Feb 25, 2009 7:15 pm |

    Спасибо наконец то нашла то что хотела прочитать тут.
    Кстати у меня есть рисунки на эту тему. Куда можно скинуть ?

  36. By Marinochka on Feb 28, 2009 1:42 am |

    Спасибо наконец то нашла что искала.
    А комментарии не сразу добавляются ?* ато я тут писала а потом смотрю вообще нету :(

  37. By Viktor on Feb 28, 2009 3:45 pm |

    Интересно, а есть хоть кто-то, кто не согласен с автором?

  38. By Студент on Mar 4, 2009 1:18 pm |

    Что за блог не пойму я тут пишу вопросы а их либо не добавляют либо удаляют даже не ответив ???

  39. By blueberries on Mar 9, 2009 11:41 pm |

    Здравствуйте!Можно ли на вашем блоге размещать платную рекламу(баннер)?
    Жду вашего ответа,спасибо.

  40. By chernika on Mar 12, 2009 11:01 pm |

    На сайте http://www.blueberries.ru приводится описание 138 видов из 30 родов лесных плодов и ягод, наиболее распространенных в нашей стране и имеющих большое хозяйственное значение. Описываются их ареал, биология, ресурсы, химический состав, пищевая и лекарственная ценность, переработка и рецептура. Рассказывается вкратце о выращивании на садовом приусадебном участке редких пока еще в культуре ценных видов плодово-ягодных растений: облепихи, лимонника, актинидии и жимолости. Приводится минимум правовых знаний, которым должны владеть любители сбора ягод. В приложении даны таблицы средних сроков цветения и созревания лесных плодов и ягод, их химического состава, содержания витаминов, макро- и микроэлементов.

  41. By Кинолог on Mar 14, 2009 10:09 pm |

    Похоже это последний блок без спама в комментариях :) А если по делу то картинок маловато у вас. :( Сейчас вообще много развелось блогов и статей полно но картинок мало так что наращивайте потанциал.

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