Sex and Cigarettes
Ugh.
So, I keep opening the WordPress ‘write’ screen to blog about, oh, I dunno, Michelle Malkin’s breathtaking hypocrisy (yeah, big surprise) on the question of Joe the Plumber or Ana Marie Cox, Sucker for the McCain myth, which she seems to cling to like a junkie to her habit, or the ever gormless Right Wing blogging coalition and their willingness to bite down hard and swallow the hook of absolutely any old anti-Obama smear that comes down the pike, and yet every time I try to get the blogging ball down the field, I get hit with insanely powerful cravings for a smoke. No lie, my mouth actually waters thinking about a Marlboro red.
My relationship with blogging and my relationship with cigarettes, sadly, have been tightly bound together. The process goes something like write a paragraph, smoke, finish the first draft, smoke, then come back and read it again, hit ‘publish’ and celebrate with a cigarette. It’s been a week now since my last one and the cravings come and go. I went to the gym during my lunch hour today and hit it extra hard, 30 minutes on the elliptical, then pecs, abs, biceps, triceps, glutes, pull-ups, and multiple sets of crunches, and now I’m exhausted and a little sore, but STILL wanting a smoke.
And of course, the gym and locker room were full of good looking guys in various states of sweatiness and undress and so when I’m not daydreaming about how great a cigarette would be, it seems like I’m daydreaming about sex. And that’s about as likely to happen at my house today as a visit from the Pope.
And that’s what I’ve got. I promise I’ll get it together soon, here. Thanks for bearing with me.
29 Responses to “Sex and Cigarettes”
By moistenedbink on Oct 17, 2008 6:08 pm |
Deeeep breaths and lollipops or popsicles depending on what oral urge you are trying to satisfy!!
By TRex on Oct 17, 2008 6:11 pm |
moistenedbink said
Which I guess kinda ties into the sex thing.
Ahem.
By burnspbesq on Oct 17, 2008 6:46 pm |
Do you feel better now than you did a week ago?
OK, then.
Keep at it.
And by the way, the world is full of attractive and interesting guys for whom smoking is a disqualifying turn-off. As the Air Force would say, you’re now in a much more target-rich environment.
By sharonlee on Oct 17, 2008 7:02 pm |
As much as I enjoy your snark (and serious stuff, too), I would rather go without that while you break the tie between writing and smoking than continue down the health risk issues for you and the kitties.
And burns asked the right question. “Do you feel better now than you did a week ago?”
By Caoimhin Laochdha on Oct 17, 2008 7:26 pm |
Do you smoke after sex? . . .
}
}
}
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. . . Don’t know, I never looked.
By A Different Matt on Oct 17, 2008 9:01 pm |
I don’t give a shit what you’re going through. I just want to be entertained.
Also, you’re second paragraph makes me want to take up smoking. Seriously, you really make the addiction sound satisfying there. Nothing like a smooth cigarette to draw from while deep in thought, deeeeeep in thought.
Deeeeeep slow breath.
By Laura on Oct 17, 2008 9:02 pm |
It takes 3 weeks (minimum) for a new habit to ’set.’ Hang in there…it’ll get better and you find your stride again. Also, you’re bound to notice all sorts of thoughts and feelings now that you’re not lighting up a distraction. You’re doing great. Glad you’re venting. Sending good thoughts always.
By may on Oct 17, 2008 9:08 pm |
ah yes.
the conditioned condition.
remember Trex,you have at your disposal,the ability to choose.
the poor old woofta has to lurch to the food bowl when it dribbles.
we don’t.
contrary?
hard headed?
bloody minded?
yup.
By may on Oct 17, 2008 10:14 pm |
that’s the woofta dribbling.
not the food bowl dribbling.
sheesh.
By plaindave on Oct 17, 2008 10:48 pm |
Craving a cigarette is not a feeling you should hope to be rid of. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
After the physical aspect is gone, deeper, permanent aspects will take its place. You’ll hear the crinkle of cellophane when someone opens a fresh pack. Your eyes will be drawn by the lustrous glow as someone takes a deep drag. And you’ll crave. For the rest of your life.
Focus on dealing with that fact. Accept the craving as your most faithful companion. You have only one other choice.
By e on Oct 17, 2008 11:21 pm |
Read “Quitters Inc.”, the old short story by Stephen King.
By TRex on Oct 17, 2008 11:58 pm |
plaindave said
Uh, thanks, Dave, but I think you’re wrong. Three years ago, I got off a heavy addiction to opiates and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life craving them. I don’t even think about them anymore. It was just a matter of filling that void with other, positive things. I’m going to do the same with cigarettes just like my twin brother and mom have. Anyone who spends the rest of their life craving a dangerous drug past the initial withdrawals and the psychological habit has a bigger hole in their life than just an addiction.
By skippy on Oct 18, 2008 12:49 am |
trex, you are right to think that activities formerly associated w/smoking will make you think about smoking, so really, and i mean this in a good way, it won’t hurt you to do something else other than those activities.
ie, if you don’t blog as much or as regularly as before, it might be good for you.
not for us, but for you, and that’s not a bad thing.
if you get to craving a ciggie, definitely turn off the computer, go outside and run.
whatever you do step away from the scene that you used to smoke in.
if you can’t (or won’t), i highly suggest baby carrots as a substitute. similar size, oral fixation satisfied, easy to handle, and good for you too!
take it from an ex-four pack a day man (that’s right, you heard me, four packs a day), it’s hard, but it can be done.
but like they say in the 12 step programs, one day at a time.
it takes about 2 weeks for all the nicotine to get out of your system, so you’re not out of the woods yet.
but you’ll get there.
and you will feel a billion times better afterwards.
By Bil on Oct 18, 2008 1:26 am |
Well, I quit August 30th, 1976 and I STILL miss them, but then I miss my ex-wife sometimes too- so the trick is to NOT put them in your mouth.
By ChristineEdmonson on Oct 18, 2008 2:12 am |
Hey T,
Finally went cold turkey five years ago — I was a secret smoker from our children, and then we hit our 50’s and we said, “this is ridiculous.”
You know what addiction is — go man, you are doing so well.
By may on Oct 18, 2008 3:18 am |
Bil said
dear Bill.
why on earth would anyone want to put an ex wife in ones mouth?
strange.
By dmilligan on Oct 18, 2008 3:36 am |
Well T, I wish you all of the luck. I’ve managed to kick booze and crank, but I can’t seem to get rid of my nicotine monkey.
Show me you’re the better man and kick it for good.
By Bil on Oct 18, 2008 10:40 am |
exactly
By litbrit on Oct 18, 2008 12:10 pm |
You’ve made it past the worst. Seriously. The first week is the worst.
Each week thereafter, it will get a little easier.
I’m so glad you’re going to be around to hang out with me, shop for vintage, cook, watch awesome English comedy and Alfred Hitchcock movies, and ogle cute young boys–when I’m an old lady.
By Hallie on Oct 18, 2008 1:02 pm |
Quitting is so hard, but don’t give up in frustration!
When the craving gets bad, play with the kitties, have a popcicle, put on a favorite song and dance. Distract yourself!
If you can make up your mind that you won’t smoke another cigarette, you can allow yourself to want one, to feel the craving and overcome it.
You can do this, but you need to change the rituals that are tied to smoking. When you finally break free of the nicotine habit, you will breathe freely, stop coughing in the morning, smell and taste food again, and gain new confidence in your own powers.
You CAN do this!
By pellora hussein on Oct 18, 2008 1:40 pm |
as laura said “Also, you’re bound to notice all sorts of thoughts and feelings now that you’re not lighting up a distraction.”
Think about it - smoking creates a “smoke screen”. It helps one NOT see what is going on around and about (both the good and the bad).
Take down the smoke screen for your health, and take a good look around. You may find you’re seeing (and smelling) things you were not heretofore aware of (both the good and the bad) and GO FORWARD, YOUNG MAN! So much to do and see and hear and be!
Sending positive vibes your way for your continued success in changing your habits.
By pellora hussein on Oct 18, 2008 1:44 pm |
Sending more
your way, T.
By Vendla on Oct 18, 2008 1:53 pm |
God, I miss smoking. I LOVE smoking. It’s been over 2 years since I quit and I still have cravings. The second they cure cancer and emphysema, I’m smoking again. Until then, I have realized that I can’t have just one. I’m an addict and can’t handle it. No celebrating my quitting with a cigarette (the reason for at least three failed attempts to quit). But even if you break down and have a cigarette, don’t let that be an excuse to start smoking again. Just quit again.
What really helped me quit is the candy Atomic Fireballs. It was a five minute distraction and that was apparently all I needed to get past my craving. The spicy cinnamon also creates a little endorphin rush.
Oh…and just accept that you will gain 10 to 15 pounds. Can’t be helped. Don’t go crazy over it.
Good luck.
By plaindave on Oct 18, 2008 3:15 pm |
Uh, sorry TRex, I hope I’m wrong in your case. I’d love to hear of someone, someday, somewhere, who’s an exception.
“Three years ago, I got off a heavy addiction to opiates and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life craving them. I don’t even think about them anymore. It was just a matter of filling that void with other, positive things.”
So there was a hole in your life that needed filling? Even for opiates? That piddling family can’t compare to nicotine. You can easily avoid opiates in your daily life. Nicotine is the biggest and baddest. And you can’t hide from it. You’ll come in contact every day you leave the house. And you’ll crave forever. Ask your brother and mom if you don’t believe me. They crave whether they admit it or not. Their abstinence should be a source of pride for them.
A nicotine addicted abstainer is strong, brave, and among the most deserving of admiration. So continue to abstain, suffer, and take pride in your accomplishment. Just don’t start smoking again.
“Anyone who spends the rest of their life craving a dangerous drug past the initial withdrawals and the psychological habit has a bigger hole in their life than just an addiction.”
Sanctimony? I think it’s a bad fit for you TRex. But if it helps you with the task you’ve set for yourself, by all means, use it. Use anything you need to succeed. I want to enjoy your blog for many years to come. Don’t let lung cancer deprive me of that.
By Left-In-Texas on Oct 18, 2008 3:37 pm |
Hi T-REX,
De-lurking to add my two cents worth of encouragement.
As a 7-year old, many decades ago, I would dump the tobacco out of my dad’s Half-and-Half can and replace it with squashed up dry leaves (as if he wouldn’t notice.) I did this in an effort to shore up my mother’s attempts to get him to quit his three-pack a day habit. Rolling his own was one of his attempts to “cut down.” His side of the story: “She banged her fist on the table for the only time in our marriage and so I quit.” Which he did, cold turkey, with the help of keeping butterballs in his shirt pocket. Now I know that the following is what actually happened.
It is a battle between your brain and your mind. The brain is trying to make your mind agree to “medication.” Your mind is trying to behave differently. If you think this through (using both brain and mind, obviously) you are contributing to the ultimate victory of your mind over the brain (mind over matter, so to speak.)
Wonderful knowledge and suggestions have been offered here as to how your mind can prevail and refuse the brain the satisfaction it thinks it needs. I’d like to suggest two more. First, your mind should be ever aware of the actual function of the brain and realize that while it is busy driving your mind crazy with it’s demands, the brain is changing in a physical way. It is growing new cells and making new connections that are appropriate to the absence of “medication.” This takes time, patience and nurturing. The brain grows best in a good environment. A good environment demands all of the following: healthful nourishment, adequate exercise, deep sleep and excellent relaxation (not the same as sleep) that involves lower brain waves (meditation) and/or experiences of happiness, discovery, enthusiasm, etc. Your mind is in charge of seeing to it that you get lots of all of the above. Secondly, your mind can keep the brain busy thinking about all of this all of the time (thinking about how it thinks is what makes the human brain so special.) Your mind can treat the brain like it is a toddler. Your mind can reward the brain when it behaves and disapprove but understand (and never ever abuse it) when it “misbehaves” (gets angry or fearful.)
If your mind insists on this environment, the brain will have less opportunity to make tantrum like demands for “medication” and will be able to grow the new equipment that much sooner. Your mind must and will win this battle. You are your mind. The brain is a tool to be cleaned up and sharpened. It’s all about nurturing the growth of new cells and new and better connections between cells. This takes time. As with any new seed, the first three weeks are the most dramatic. Three week from 10/10 is 10/31. Happy Halloween!!!
By tex on Oct 19, 2008 11:41 pm |
Hey T-Rex
GOOD LUCK!!!
I will be feeling your pain starting Halloween which is the day I picked to stop a 40 year habit with Camel non-filters. It’s going to be a bitch but I WILL STOP.
Good Luck again my friend and think of me starting Halloween…..
Tex
By Another New Lefty In Texas on Oct 19, 2008 11:43 pm |
Hey T-Rex
GOOD LUCK!!!
I will be feeling your pain starting Halloween which is the day I picked to stop a 40 year habit with Camel non-filters. It’s going to be a bitch but I WILL STOP.
Good Luck again my friend and think of me starting Halloween…..
Another new lefty in Texas
By enigma4ever on Oct 20, 2008 12:42 pm |
You don’t know me..I lurk mostly..but I am rooting for you against the cigarettes..I left a comment a while back , about how I quit after watching my grandmother battle lung cancer and breast cancer at the same time….I know quitting sucks….GUM…all kinds….and popsicles and TOOTSIE POPS…( nice to have something to hold and suck…)…Hang in there….you wll get through this…
By anon on Oct 27, 2008 5:09 am |
Good luck with kicking the cigs. Truly.